I be sad for the childhood that my abusator took from me

A 17 -year -old girl who must try to remember every minute detail of the events that occurred six years earlier in her sterile transmission box in the classroom with a stranger (male) sitting next to her who (is her support person) has very lucid shoes. It seems nervous while the defense lawyer arrives on the screen, preparing for the cross exam. For the neighbor, what looks like an hour, is called liarda in every possible way by a man who is excessively trained to flatten the truth. It was trained to respond to him saying “It is not the truth”. It was trained to put them in the head, tell her what really happened and cause it until you take or looks weak or give up.
“This is not the truth”
“This is not the truth”
“No, that’s not what happened”
“I’m not sure”
“No, I’m not”
“Well, it was six years ago”
“NO”.
“NO”.
“Because I should go through this disgusting process and lose six years of my life waiting for torture if I was lying!” He triggered.
“Answer the question, please,” adds the judge.
“It is not true.”

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In the end it ends and I can return to my body. The deliberate jury. They find him guilty. I win. But it’s not over yet. Condemnation. Declaration of impact of the victim. This will tell the judge how I really feel I am attacked and could contribute to the additional time in prison.
This time, I am not transmitted. I’m in the room. It is only there on my right. I have a piece of paper in my hand and when the judge calls me, I find myself in front of him and read.

“Thank you for allowing me to express the impact that this offense has had on myself and on those closest to me. Since the author of the crime has taken the question of the process, I can only assume that there is no responsibility for his actions and shows no remorse. This more than any other aspect of the judicial case is what hurts me most.

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The assaults had a profound impact on me. The crimes occurred when I was eleven, so for all puberty and my life in high school, this was in the back of my mind. Stress was exacerbated by prolonged evidence. My confidence in the humanity and equity of the “system” has been tested regularly and my family broke up with the stress and fault out of place that my parents have endured. Shortly after the assaults, I started experimenting panic attacks and I was diagnosed with anxiety. My anxiety therefore led me to losing excessive quantities of school, it had an impact on the life, work and finances of my parents.

I was reluctant to prepare this document because I thought he would give you, the author of the crime, to see me as a victim. But by reflecting I want the Court and you are aware of the obstacles that I have successfully passed to justice.

I had the courage to face you in court several times, when others could not. I did it even when I had to endure you skulking in the city where I live and “run inside me”. I did it even if you succeeded with other victims. I did it knowing the damage you did to others.

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I did all this because telling the truth is the right thing. The prey to the children is criminal and denying it is pathetic. I trust that in your reflective moments, the realization will make you come the fact that even if the “system” is stacked in your favor – you have been brought to justice.

I just hope that now you can spend a lot of time in prison, contemplating the damage you have done, without the opportunity to hurt other children. “

The phrase was not very long and a few years later I saw his name in the newspaper, he returned, right in his new hometown because he is not allowed to return to mine. Did it be worth it? My friends are graduating from UNI, degree titles in which I did not enter because my atar was not high enough. Did it be worth it?

Now, at 26, I would say that it was worth it. But I wonder if my indecision derives from being called a liar so much that I also question my mind. At the age of 26, I sweep me for my childhood and I am angry that a person had the ability to take him away for his satisfaction. I wonder how much my parents hurt and how much fault they still bring even if it was not their fault. I wonder why we never talk about it and if perhaps we should. At 26, I wonder how I will teach my children signs of grooming without scary them of the world. At 26, I would encourage others with a similar story to go on and report it. Yes, the legal system is imperfect and the tests are horrible and difficult, but if in the three years it has been locked up for what she has done to me, a child was spared from being abuse, I did the right thing. At 26 I am learning to focus only on the things I can control and while in these days I tend to avoid difficult things, but I know they tend to have the greatest prizes. At 26, I haven’t read all seven Harry Potter books yet.

Harriet Snaith is a freelance writer based in Sydney.